Sometimes as Christians we are asked how we know that God is really there, that He even exists. Honestly, it’s a valid question. There are times in the life of every Christian when we wonder if there is actually someone on the other end of all those prayers. Sometimes we can even venture into territory where we wonder if it’s even worth it at all.

Prayer can be a complicated subject. Sometimes we wonder if we are praying enough. Or we question if we are praying the right way. Are those prayers too self-centred? Is it wrong to pray the same thing over and over? Is it ok to pray for a certain outcome? Will praying for a certain outcome result in that outcome being taken off the table because we are too attached to it? Are we really praying well if we are just repeating the same routine-like set of prayers each day?

Once you really begin to pray and take prayer seriously, many of these questions and probably a whole lot more will begin to seek your attention. To be perfectly honest, it’s hard not to contemplate them. I wish I had solid answers for each one of them, but I don’t. I’m still learning and navigating these very questions myself.

Sometimes we pray the same thing over and over and we wonder if it’s even being heard. I think it is quite challenging to discern the voice of God in our prayer lives. Is it really God putting that thought into our mind, or is it just something we’ve thought up in response to our own question, our own prayer?

One day He gives us a moment, even if it is fleeting, that enriches us and nourishes us spiritually and mentally. He provides something of an answer to prayer in a small way, just enough to make us grateful for that small moment, a moment that brings us a happiness, a little joy. It’s a small mercy, I guess.

And while we are grateful for that beautiful little moment, the next day we are back to wondering if our prayer is going to be answered. We seek out the voice of God but don’t seem to hear anything.

It’s like a spiritual rollercoaster that never seems to end.

God is truly a mystery in the way He works. Sometimes He will surprise us. Other times, He’ll make us wait (for good reason, I’m sure). I think for many of us it can just be difficult to understand why at times. 

Why are our prayers not being answered? Maybe they are, just not in the way we hoped. This can be difficult to contend with, given we often hope for certain outcomes, for certain events to take place. And, when they don’t come to pass as we expected, we can become incredibly dejected.

Why are we being made to wait? Maybe it’s because God has something in store for us that He needs to perfect us for first. Maybe we are not yet at the point where we can take on what He has waiting for us.

Why can’t we seem to hear God’s voice? That’s a question I’m not really sure how to answer. Maybe God wants us to just sit in the silence and contemplate what is on our heart. Maybe He’s making us wait. I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure this one out.

I think it’s only natural that each of us should ask ‘why?’ within the context of the spiritual life. I’ve done it many times myself. Often God is working, we just are not yet able to see it. And yet we have to trust that He is. But that is not always easy to do. Sometimes it can be especially difficult to trust. 

I think sometimes we can pray every prayer under the sun and still wonder if we’re being heard. Sometimes we can even begin to think that if we don’t pray a certain prayer that we might usually pray as part of our ‘routine’ that those prayers won’t be heard or that our prayers won’t be answered as we are hoping they might be. 

Sometimes we go into a place of prayer, be it the church or an Adoration Chapel, we kneel there with the intention of praying, but then we don’t even feel like praying. Or we can’t seem to find the words to pray. 

Sometimes you just go into the Chapel, look at Jesus, and become filled or even overwhelmed with raw emotion.

And sometimes you just sit there in front of the Blessed Sacrament and look at Him in silence. All you can do is just look. Thoughts swirl in your mind and you just look at Him.

Sometimes you just want to sit there for hours. Sometimes you never want to leave. Because for that moment, that time that seems so short, you can just be there in the presence of God and put everything else aside.

I think when it comes to prayer, the best we can do is to be authentic. We have been gifted with many prayers and devotions from the Church and the Saints, and it’s still good to pray these prayers. They wouldn’t be there for us if they weren’t good.

But I think it’s so important to just be upfront and honest with God about whatever is on our hearts. Sure, He knows us, and He already knows what we are going through. But He can’t take our hearts from us. We need to bring them to Him freely. Whatever is on our hearts, that should be our prayer. Prayer should come from our hearts and our hearts should be our prayer.

If you’re struggling with something, just talk to God about it. If you’re dealing with uncertainty, talk to God about it. Bring all your anxieties, worries, fears and concerns to Him. Talk to Him about your hopes and dreams. Even if you can’t hear His voice, just talk to Him. Pour your heart out to Him.

To end this little reflection on prayer, I’d like to share a piece of Scripture that it close to my heart:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)