Republicans To Target New Demographic

After seeing the impact they had on the election, Republicans have decided to henceforth target dead people in their campaigns. This demographic appeared to be a problem for President Trump, who failed to hold rallies at cemeteries to garner their votes. Joe Biden was able to secure the votes of the dead by dedicating the better part of his campaign to meeting them six feet underground.

Republicans know it will be a challenge to bring these voters over to their side, given the demographic typically votes Democrat (in fact, it probably says a lot about the Democrat Party that all the dead vote for them). However, they are willing to give it a go, and will include cemeteries on their campaign tours from now on.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden has thanked these voters, promising to reward them by imposing a death tax so that they can feel included in his America. He also extended his gratitude to many of them for attending his rallies. Obviously, they were unable to be seen by the general public given they attended as ghosts.

These voters have been hailed as true patriots by Democrats and the media alike, who have praised their efforts to rise from the grave to undertake their civic duty to vote. The Democrats have accused President Trump and his team of attempting to disenfranchise these voters by having their ballots disqualified.

Interestingly, all of them voted by mail.

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